He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
