no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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