this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
