he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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