Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
