Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
