I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
