WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
