But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
