the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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