I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
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