She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
