You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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