): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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