thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
