Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
