Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I touched a dick in church today
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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