the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
