Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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