well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
