11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
