Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
