I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
