cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
