tell your sister to shave her snatch
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
