youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
