never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
