If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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