also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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