just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
This baby is an asshole
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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