why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
