You're completely useless in the revolution.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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