Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
