so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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