after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
