No period for spring break; use this wisely.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
