is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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