Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
