U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
