He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
