So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
