She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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