my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
