And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
