DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
