I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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