you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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