But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
