I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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