Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
